


Learning to Be

by Acumichi



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alpha Connor, Alpha Zoe, Alpha/Omega, Anxiety Disorder, Beta Larry, Connor trying to be a good brother, Cynthia is trying, F/F, How Do I Tag, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Jared Evan and Alana are all best friends, Jared has to suffer and watch them all, Jared is a good friend, Larry will get better and be a good dad, M/M, Murphy Siblings trying, Oblivious Alana, Oblivious Evan, Omega Alana, Omega Cynthia, Omega Evan, Omega Heidie, Omega Jared, Omega Verse, Pinning Connor, Pinning Zoe, References to Depression, Zoe being a great sister
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-13
Updated: 2017-09-20
Packaged: 2018-12-01 18:33:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 19,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11492226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Acumichi/pseuds/Acumichi
Summary: Evan Hansen has finally decided that senior year had to be different, one way or another he was going to make a change with the help of his mother, therapist Dr. Sherman, and his (only) friend since elementary school. Evan was going to learn to be who he was, all the faults and charms too.Connor Murphy has finally decided that senior was his last chance to try and be different. He was going to make a change whether he had help or not from his family and his no friends outside the group he sometimes smokes pot with. Connor wanted to like who he was, all the faults and charms that went with it.They never knew that they would do it together though.





	1. First Steps

**Author's Note:**

> My first try at a Dear Evan Hansen fic. Tell me what you all think in the comments below and how I may improve.

Evan Hansen took a deep breath as he was lying in bed; another day at the forest preserve and another day closer to the looming first day of school. It was more of a countdown on a doomsday clock than to the exciting year of trying to figure out what happens next. He exhaled deeply as it all was starting to flood into his head about what he was going to do. He wanted to be a park ranger, study trees and plants, make sure that the deer population do not grow too much that they began to put certain bushes on the endangered species list. Not that anyone ever cared about the plants that were dying out, but maybe that was what Evan wanted to do. Tell people about the plants that need help because they couldn't ask for help, someone had to see that there was something wrong. Like his mom. 

Evan took in another deep breath. Where would he be without his mother to look out for him? Always having to watch out for him that he felt like he was nothing but trouble for her. She was trying to do something amazing with her life, while he had to talk himself into going to the door to pay the pizza guy. It was like she was so capable that the universe had to burden her with a useless son, just to make it fair. Evan sat up and took another deep breath, no, he thought to himself, this wasn't going to be like that. Evan talked to his mom, he was not a burden, she loved him and loved to help him get better. That's what mothers do for their sons, they help. Evan breathed in threw his nose and then exhaled out his mouth. Dr. Sherman said that was the anxiety talking for him. Evan was not a burden and he was breaking some new ground. Today, he actually asked his supervisor if he could work the information desk, and he talked to at least three people about hiking, the new plot that will be dedicated to plants to help the bees, and he did it all with only one break to go collect his thoughts and regulate his breathing again. He was going to tell his mom all about it in the morning before she goes to work and class.

So now, it was time for the next step. Evan had taken a shower when he got home and did not put on any scent blockers. He had one that made him smell like one of those average cologne smells that beta men would wear. It was like the smell of a fancy restaurant, but like after leaving. It was recommended by his doctor when Evan was presenting. His mother would wear a perfume that smelled like hotel lotions. But her natural scent was amazing that it made Evan wonder why no one made a perfume that smelled like her. She smelled like a grassy field of wild flowers. Evan would wrap himself in her scent when he would get nervous, usually lie in her bed or wear her red scarf. While Evan... he smelled. Not nice like his mother, or even his father who he remembered having the scent of a summer day by the beach. No, Evan thought his natural scent was too much that he thought everyone within a ten-mile radius could smell him. So, he would wear his blockers all the time no matter where he was. At home there was nothing there that smelled like him. That was until today. He could smell himself and it was weird, but Dr. Sherman said that he needed to embrace every part of him and one of those parts was his smell. He closed the door, window, and even the vents, and just lingered in his room, his blocker on the dresser if it got too much. He told himself he would make it for at least two hours. Forty-five minutes and he was getting nervous. Every noise made him think that there was someone ready to burst in to tell him he was stinking up the whole block and arrest him for disturbing the peace. Then he would be sent to jail and his mother would have to get him out with all the money she had been saving to pay for classes. That would mean all her hard work would be for nothing, she would have to give up to work because his medication and sessions were expensive and his internships pays for a bit but his mother would never accept his money because she was too good to him.

He stopped himself. He went over to his blocker and put some on and lit candles to cover up the smell of him. He went up to his white board and marked down that he made it less than an hour and then freaked himself out. Tiny steps.... very tiny steps. Evan crawled into bed in shame and decided that if he was going to do anything, it was going to be getting away from the world through sleep. It was one of the few things he could enjoy.

**(Line Break)**

The Murphy family was sitting at their usual forced dinners that Cynthia Murphy had enforced in hopes that it would bring them all closer. But, from what she was seeing, it looked like she was creating a tighter tension between everyone. She finished a bite of her salad and smiled at the three, “So Zoe…” she looked to the youngest of the family, “how was your guitar lessons going? Is the Harris’s boy getting any better?”

“No,” she said dully as she picked at her vegetables. “But, I get paid by the lesson not by the progress,” she stabbed at her meatloaf. Larry laughed before taking another forkful of dinner and Cynthia only laughed lightly. Zoe looked to her brother and smirked. “How was lying in bed all day Connor,” she asked smugly as Connor continued to poke at his food.

“Zoe,” Cynthia said accusingly.

“What did the boy do today?” Larry asked as he looked to Connor, who hunched over a bit more and groaned under his breath. “I’m surprised that an alpha can sit around all day like that,” he said as he looked to Cynthia, “Maybe we should call your alpha brother to come and talk to them. Connor should be…out and about at this age, right?”

“I’ll be upstairs,” Connor pushed away from the table and got up.

“You better not be smoking pot up there,” Larry said as he walked away.

“Not like you would be able to prove if I did,” Connor shot back as he went up the stairs and Larry frowned and looked to Cynthia, who only starred after her son with a worried look.

“Someone has to talk to him,” Larry said as he dropped his silverware and sat back. “Zoe is an alpha too and she is fine,” he said to Cynthia who just put down her fork and knife. “What are we doing that is so different between the two?”

“He needs to talk to talk to us,” she said as she picked up her glass of water and shook her head. “I’m his mother, I’m an omega, he should come to me with problems. How do I help if he won’t tell me what’s wrong?”

“He needs a therapist,” Zoe said as she continued eating. It was nothing new, this conversation happened once a week at this point. She was trying to push her parents to let him get a therapist since they all could see that there was something wrong with Connor with his lack of…instinct. Zoe was going about her alphaness rather naturally, even at her age her pheromones were changing to become stronger and giving off more of a threat or protective vibe to entice Omegas and fend off other alphas. Everyones scent lingered about the house, even Larry’s and he was a beta. But when it came to Connor, his scent was nowhere to be found, not even in his room or on his clothes. Zoe knew, from the special classes they make kids take around the ages 12-14, that smell was important. It provided a way to recognize a person or place, it could change emotions, and it was unique to everyone. She remembered, when her and Connor got along, he smelled like the rain. Now, all she could smell on him was pot and smoke. It was revolting. She wondered how he could stand it; whenever she was upset she would go to her room, linger in the comfort of being grounded in her scent. And for someone as easily triggered as Connor, she wondered if he ever was calm or even okay.

“That boy needs to talk to us,” Larry said with a scoff. “Therapy is for kids from bad homes, Connor is just being a teenaged boy, little longer than I would have liked, but he’s gonna grow up once he meets a nice girl.” He said with a nod. “Or Omega.” He added right onto the end.

“Speaking of Omegas,” Cindy smiled in hopes to change the subject because Larry was not good when it came to Omega/Alpha things. He was still stuck in the beta world of normalized heterosexuality. HE was slowly getting better, but she would have to have another sit down talk with him. She straightened up when Zoe’s face flushed, “Anyone has your attention?”

“I mean…” Zoe blushed and smiled down at her plate, “no…not really…”

“Come on Zoe,” Larry smiled, “What’s…their name…”

“It doesn’t matter…I could never talk to her,” she pushed around her food and shrugged, “She’s like…running around and doing all this great stuff. What would I even say to her?”

Connor was already long gone from his family, currently looking at the calendar on the wall counting down to going back to the hell hole that was his school. Then to a chalk board where he had written a list of things he had to do. It was a weird list that he had to narrow down to a bunch of stuff that he was going to try and do. If there was one thing that Connor could do it was work out of spite. His father and mother thought that he didn’t need help, but from all the research he did online said that he was totally capable of helping himself. He couldn’t get meds though, something a couple blogs said that he would need to help with the lack of…dopamine in his head. So, hopefully, once getting a job and some cheap insurance from the government, he should be able to see a therapist at least two times a month. But then began the hard road of trying to get some mental health advise from the internet. Not his best idea, but it was a start. The only start he had available anyway. The first thing on his list was the pot. He knew he smoked pot to calm the fuck down and just to not have to listen or feel when he gets talked at…but there was the smell. In all honesty, Connor hated how he always smelled because one, it got him caught in the matter of seconds, and second, he didn’t do anything to avoid smelling like it either. Like the old dryer sheet at the end of a toilet roll. He read up about why he was smoking pot, like, there had to be something more than just losing himself. He stumbled up on an article from some university in Europe, he found out that maybe, subconsciously, alpha and omega who used pot were more likely to have some sort of self-loathing and body issues. Patients in the study who were alpha or omega expressed that using pot as a way to pull away from who they were, but didn’t know why it helped.

A few pages later, the researchers chalked it up to how the smell hid natural pheromones about 30% better then blockers.

Connor read on an alpha help blog run by some alpha doctor, said that smell was important to Alphas more as an identifier than it was for emotions like for omegas. Alphas used scents for messages and communication/information. Omegas used scents to identify feelings and the mood of the situation. Connor learned that not being able to smell himself may be putting himself on edge more, which lead to more pot. A shitty cycle and he had to put his foot down. Connor had done a mad cleaning of his room and reluctantly sold most of all his stash too some stupid freshmen and kept about only two blunts for himself. Then there was washing all his clothes to get rid of the smell and all these scented candles in his room and those incense sticks. First, he would drop the pot and since the blog didn’t say he had to learn his scent or even like it in a day, he would use the candles and incense sticks to cover it up if it became too much.

Then it was the whole deal with his family, which a few blogs assured him he didn’t have to do anything about that. But Connor knew that he could get along with his family, they both just need to put in some effort. Connor was beginning with the idea of not trying to fight with either his mother or father, and now, the best he could do was walk away. The comment didn’t help but it was tiny steps and it could have been a whole lot worst. Connor had another bin of clothes to wash, but that would involve going past his family. Connor was pulled from his thoughts when a little alarm went off and he looked at his phone and sighed. It was a reminder that he needed to take a shower. That was another classic sign of depression throughout all members of humanity, but this was really hard. Connor hated having to look at himself, let alone being naked too. He took a deep breath, grabbed a pair of recently cleaned clothes, and walked to the hall bathroom he had to share with his sister. If anyone ever saw, it looked like it was a bathroom only used by Zoe because her stuff littered the vanity top and in the cabinets. One drawer was dedicated to him, but even that was just a few disposable razors, an unopened face razor, toothpaste, a new toothbrush, and a few extra bars of soap. He locked the door, and turned on the shower before undressing out of sight of the mirror. He had set his clothes on the edge of the vanity top and then stepped into the shower. Really, it wasn’t all that bad once he was in, but actually doing anything was the problem.

It was a twenty minute processes, but he came out clean and uncomfortable. Connor had yet to get used to what his smell was. He dried off, changed, and brushed through his hair before rushing back to his room and drowning himself in other powerful scents. Three incense sticks did the trick and it gave him slight satisfaction. No hard pot smell to down out everything, but strong enough so he didn’t have to face his own scent.

Next on the list was to get in some more drawing done. Every day he had to draw something, and he found one of those monthly prompt lists and had it pinned on a cork board by his chalk board. He would place a little circle sticker next to what he’s already done. He looked through the list and decided that he would do a “nature” photo. Connor felt a sudden burst of inspiration and went to an old box under his bed filled with photos and pulled out a really old one of the family at the Apple Orchard. He took a deep breath, popped in his head phones, put on his favorite playlist, and went to work.

**(Line Break)**

Evan sat in his room not sure what to do with himself because he was given the day off. He was again, not wearing any blockers. If he moved too much there was the chance he would sweat and his scent would become stronger, but he also really wanted to go downstairs and eat something. Evan also had to avoid taking in deep breaths because maybe he would take in too much of his scent and scare himself out of it. Dr. Sherman said small steps, going too hard too fast will only backfire, and Evan didn’t want to let down his therapist or mother.

Speaking of mother…

Heidi had gotten home about an hour ago, stopped by Evan’s door and listened, probably thinking that he was still sleeping. She went off to shower and change into some fresh clothes before going to sleep for the day. That was another thing that worried Evan, he didn’t want to be too loud and disturb his mother. If he did that then she would be too tired for work, accidently fall asleep while at the hospital and get fired because of it. Then she would have to look for another job, go to her classes, and try too hard to also try to be there for him because she had a mess of a son-

There was a light knocking on the door before it opened up slowly. Evan shot his head up and looked to see Heidi peek in and instantly come in after taking a sniff. “Oh…Evan…” she said lightly and Evan was ready to fall apart; she was disgusted by his smell. He should just jump out his window and make a run for it to another town and hide under a bridge- Heidi walked over to him, closing the door behind her and smiling. “You are so brave,” she said softly and Evan felt the tension leave his body with relief. “Gosh I have missed that smell…my baby…” she cooed and sat down and brought him into a hug. Evan buried his head in her neck and took a few breaths. “Dr. Sherman told me about the new exercise, how long has this gone on?”

“I almost hit half an hour,” he said with a smile when his mother smiled first. “But I want to hit another forty-five minutes, but I’m hungry and if I move too much I’ll start getting sweaty.”

“Hey,” she smiled at him, “thirty minutes is still really good. We can order some Chinese and watch a movie downstairs,” she encouraged him lightly. “How does that sound?”

“Can…Can I put on blockers before going downstairs?” Evan asked nervously, hoping that his mother would say yes and another half hoping she said no so he could try and push through this.

“Of course, honey,” she went over and picked up the bottle for him. “But how about, you only use half as much than you normally do. I miss being able to smell you and guess what,” she watched as he put a small amount in his hands and then rubbing it into his neck. “This will really help Evan. You know all those classes you took, it will be better to know the scents you make with emotions and how to identify, it’s a good grounding tool.”

“Okay mom,” he said as he followed her down to the living room, closing off his room to keep his scent in there. Just as they got down stairs, Heidi in the kitchen and Evan at the bottom of the steps, the front door opened and Jared Kleinmen smiled brightly with a big greeting.

“Why hello there Jared,” Heidi smiled as she picked up a few menus. “You’re probably joining us for take-out and movie day, right?”

“I actually came in with an offering from the brood mothers,” he said as he revealed the basket that instantly told Heidi and Evan they would eat like kings. “But I wouldn’t miss movie night with the Hansen’s for the world.”

“What did Molly do this time,” Heidi laughed lightly as Jared closed the door behind him, but quickly caught the scent of something else, making Evan tense.

“Oh you know ma’, she’s a nervous baker.” Jared waved it off, taking a few more scents of the air and looking around. “Looks like mother has to go to this big doctor convention and have products shoved in her face. You know everyone wants to push hospitals to start buying their brand of latex gloves.” He laughed as he set the basket on the hall table and then looked to Evan. “Hey man, you okay?”

Evan locked up but Heidi quickly came in to the rescue. “Evan is using less blockers,” she said with a big smile as she held a menu and her cell phone. “I’ll be sure to call Molly and Coleen to say you are staying for lunch.”  

“Bro,” Jared smile and ran up to him, quickly pushing his nose into his neck and takin in a deep breath. “Whoa,” Jared leaned back and smiled, “I have missed this dude. You have like, the most calming scent on the planet. Sure, you can’t attract the alphas like me, but man I could spend my life with that scent.” He laughed as Evan turned bright red. “You finally gonna start looking for an alpha? I could help you snag one real quick.”

“N-No thanks.” Evan laughed nervously as Jared pulled him over to the sofa as Heidi walked back into the kitchen to make a call. “Dr Sherman said that I really need to start taking in my own scent and start to embrace more of myself so that I can learn to love me too. And it’s nice but there is this thing that you know me that I am so terrified of my own scent and I think it’s not good but I have to slowly ground myself in it. Omegas are naturally submissive and the best way to get a reading of a situation is through scent…” he began to trail off when he saw Jared just smiling at him. “What?”

“Does this mean that you are finally gonna spend a heat with a real alpha and not an alpha dildo?”

Evan burst bright red. “I-I don’t have an alpha dildo,” he whispered harshly.

“Really?” Jared quirked a brow and smirked, “you wanna borrow mine-after a good cleaning of course. I can’t imagine a heat without it…I mean before I met Kent.” He flushed lightly and Evan could smell Jared natural warm computer scent turn into something softer with a hint of lemon grass and cool water. “Am I blushing? I bet I am.”

“I…I don’t want the thing and how is Kent? He’s not doing anything like in those videos and lifetime movies I always hear about?”

“Nah,” he waved it off. “He even wants to meet ma and mother. Can you imagine those two harpies getting into him? I bet they’ll have Aunt Sue waiting outside in a squad car just in case.” They both shared a lough as they thought of the bulky alpha that the two knew was just another close family friend of their respective omega mother, but they both had gone through a weird crushing phase on the alpha. Their laugh slowly died when they both had that same thought and blushed a bit. “Anyway,” Jared coughed lightly as he grabbed the remote, “how about we watch some Captain America, I love seeing that guy on screen.” He laughed and Evan sat back as his mother came back in. “How about Captain America Aunt Heidi?”

“I’d love to boys, but now I think I’m going to go comfort Molly for a bit. How about you two enjoy a lazy summer day without me? Chinese should be here in about thirty minutes.”

“What if it’s an alpha,” Evan spun around as his mother slipped on her shoes and coat. All the psa’s he watched told Evan that unmarked Omegas had to be extra careful around because ‘alpha instincts were too strong to control’ was the alpha excuse. But still, he was half blocked and the only other person was Jared, an unmarked Omega. And Evan was overly submissive to anyone, it’d be worse if it was alpha.

“I got us covered Aunt Heidi,” Jared spun around and waved it off. “I also wanted to show Evan this sweet new blocker I got from my doctor since my usual stuff is on back order.”

“Thank you Jared, I’ll be next door if anything happens and Mister Louis across the street is always watching on his porch,” she laughed as she walked out and the two heard her muffled greeting to the old Alpha.

“Check it dude,” Jared pulled the bottle out of his back pocket and reached to grab the basket and set it on the coffee table. “Number one, it smells like pine cones, so you are gonna love it.” He spun open the top and handed it to Evan. The boy took one sniff and his eyes went wide in shock. “I know.” Jared laughed with a big smile.

“This is an alpha scent…” he whispered like it was some big secrete. “How did you get this?” Alpha scents were rare and expensive because it was an easy to change identities. Scents that powerful were given to abuse victims that were hiding from partners or mates, or given to transitioning Omegas, and then in cases where alphas could not produce a strong enough scent and medication did not work.

“Like I said, my blockers are on back order and he didn’t know how long it would take. This was all he had on hand that he could give me in order to at least be able to go out comfortably in. But you should have seen Kent’s face.” He laughed as Evan smiled, imagining how someone would react to smelling an omega one day and then alpha. “He thought I was scented by another alpha without me knowing and went into full protective mode.” He blushed thinking back on it. “All day he would growl at anyone close and clung to me at every chance he could. My clothes still smell like him.”

“What’s it like,” Evan asked shyly as he capped the bottle and placed it on the coffee table. He grabbed a cookie from the basket.

“To smell like an alpha or to have one?”

“To…To have one.”

Jared sighed as he sat back and flipped through Netflix to find the movie, “Is it weird to say that I feel a little safer…like a new kind of safe?” He asked as he glanced to Evan, who only shrugged not even sure what he was asking. “I mean, it is a safe because I know that there is someone that is always going to protect me and care for me. And it’s not just because I’m an Omega, but they like me for me too.” He crossed his legs on the couch and pulled at some loose threads on his jeans. “Sure, maybe Kent isn’t my mate for life because I still have my whole life ahead of me, but like…I wouldn’t mind if he was.”

“That’s nice Jared,” Evan nodded as he wrapped himself in a blanket. “I hope you and Kent are very happy together.”

“Don’t get so weird on me Evan,” Jared laughed nervously as he rubbed the back of his neck. “But…thank you…that is cool of you to say.” Evan only nodded the two went to focusing on the movie while Jared would jump in with commentary and to hand over cookies and to get the take out for Evan. He wanted to see the blocker in action but the driver was a beta. It was good food and they got more sweets when Heidi and Molly came over with two more containers of muffins. Evan was just, happy to be surrounded by people and no one was saying anything about his smell, unless it was a compliment. He felt…calm.    


	2. Two Steps Forward and One Step Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys, you know what to do and thank you so much for reading or just checking this out.

“Come on Evan,” Jared whined as he was standing in the doorway of his closet, pleading to the dirty blonde haired boy that was sitting cross-legged on the floor. Jared fell to his knees and Evan looked away and crossed his arms over his chest. “I know you are comfortable, but I thought the whole point was to, you know…move away from that.” He lied on his stomach and groaned, “Please…can we just try it?”

“I…I like my polos,” Evan said weakly as he looked at the ground and began to pick at the carpet. He knew that Jared had a point, Evan seemed to stick to a comfort zone that he had been in since he was about eight years old. It wasn’t like he was scared to try on new stuff, but this…Jared was trying to make him take a big scary step and Evan could smell himself getting scared. There was only about two weeks until the first day, and Evan thought he would slowly move through senior year and grow to be…a better version of Evan in college. But, the idea of going into senior year a little different did sound fun too. Everyone in his grade knew him as the khakis and polo kid (along with quiet and scared kid who didn’t have to make oral presentations), imagine their faces when they saw Evan in not khakis and a polo. And the second Jared started with the idea, it was coming to full fruition of getting Evan started on a whole new wardrobe. Evan only helped when he talked about that his paycheck only ever went into the occasional vending machine soda at work. Jared took it as the perfect excuse to go clothes shopping and a great way for him clear out clothes from his own closet to make room for some new stuff.

“Jared,” his mother, Coleen called from downstairs, “Alana is here and she looks almost as adorable as your mother,” she laughed and they heard Molly giggle and scoff.

“Just come up Alana, not the first time you’ve been here,” Jared called back through the opened door and he heard Alana give his mother’s a formal welcome and start engaging all the stuff that she had been doing of the summer. “Alana, I love you, but we are on a time schedule. You can show off later,” he said and they listened as she came up the stairs.

Alana Beck was the definition of an honor students. She was smart, funny, talented, and witty to boot. Jared and Evan were friends with her because the three were grouped together in seventh grade in a small Omega oriented class that was mandatory. Which Jared said was fate because Alana was technically a year younger than them but had petitioned to be moved up a year after completing a bunch of test to prove she could handle seventh grade. Alana became a study tutor to the two boys, teaching them how to remember information better and tricks on writing summaries and skim reading.

Alana walked in with a light pink sundress with a thick black belt and brown leather Greek looking sandals. Her hair were longs braids that were pulled back in a low ponytail and she wore a giant purple flower crown that matched the purple in her glasses. “I was a camp counselor at an all-girl camping trip for a few days and I made a whole bunch.” She walked over to the bed and opened her bag to pull out about five crowns. She spun around with a big smile, “Evan, I heard you had started wearing less blockers, which is actually so much healthier for you since I was sure you wore two times more than the recommended amount.” She sat down by him, “So, I did some extra reading, and I think it would be a nice thing to go out and maybe try new things, and looks, maybe even thinking about looking into an extra activity you can focus on.” She reached back into her bag and pulled out a note book, “I have been keeping a pretty big schedule on all my volunteering, internships, and hobbies.” She began to leaf through pages, showing Evan the filled schedule that was enough to make his head spin.

“Alana,” Jared sat up, “today we focus on shopping. Evan has been wearing khakis, polos, and gym shoes since he was like…five…”

“Not that long,” Evan said in his defense and shrugged. “And I think I look good…kinda…I mean…kinda but not in like…I like how I sorta look and I mean trying something new would be fine but like…I don’t know.” He stopped and let out a deep breath.

“I think you look good too,” Alana said with a smile.

“Oh yeah, Evan,” Jared scooted closer, “I’m sorry, I must sound like I don’t like the way you look, but I do.” He fixed his glasses and coughed into his palm. “I think that you do look good. But I think it would be better to maybe move to something new. Like we can do some button ups, maybe jeans…skinny jeans if you’re feelin’ it.”

“I know,” he nodded and looked at the carpet, “I…I think it could be fun. You two talk about how much fun shopping is and I feel like I want to have too. I want to be a good shopping buddy…try on clothes and all that kind of stuff. But like…the crowds, and all the people working who are trying to do their jobs and like, I’m wasting their time if I don’t buy or try anything, but like they ask all these questions and are trying to be really nice, but I get all…”

“And that is why we go as a group,” Alana smiled, “I can do all the talking for you. Or Jared can because he does nothing but talk,” she laughed lightly with Evan when Jared gave a dramatic scoff and walked to his closet and began to rifle through clothes. “And you and Jared are like the same size, so you can totally try on his stuff-” she was cut off when Jared gasped and came out with an armful of clothes.

“Can I dress you up?” He asked softly to Evan, who looked like a deer caught in head lights. “Please Evan, I can make you look even cuter that you already are and we can go to the mall looking so fly.”

“Fly?” Alana looked at him with a raised brow, “Does anyone say that other than you.” She smiled as Jared stuck out his tongue at her and she did it right back.

“Like…like a makeover?” Evan asked and looked to the clothes in his arms. “If I don’t like it…I don’t have to wear it out, right?”

“Scouts honor,” Jared raised his hand and held up three finger.

“You dropped out of the scouts,” Evan said with a smile.

“That’s because it was a group of tools and ass-hats,” he said and dropped the clothes next to the crowns and the other two stood up and began to rifle through the clothes. “How about…something to show off your arms?” Jared held up a tang top that was black and in big white letters said ‘Fuck Off’ on the front. “Climbing trees has been good for you,” he laughed as Evan put his hand around his bicep and gave a squeeze. “Alana?”

“It’s warm out, but it’s going to get cold out later,” she said as she went back into the closet and pulled out a denim jacket and a dark red cardigan with big pockets. “So guns out now and then holstered later,” she said with a big smile as Jared snorted and Evan chuckled. “I took a comedy class over the summer.” She picked up a different top that was a dark blue and on the front, was ‘Bad Omega Bitch’ and she sighed, “How about something that doesn’t have an expletive on it.” She said as she looked to Jared, who thought hard and went back into the closet and came back with a dark purple tang top that had ‘Pretty Omega’ written on the front in a calligraphy bubble font. “Okay…so how does that look Evan?”

Evan was handed the top and he looked it over and shrugged, “I like the purple…” he nodded, “I will wear it but I want something to cover up with too.”

“Cardigan…I kinda want to wear the denim jacket now,” Alana said with a smile as she moved the cardigan over to him and then Jared threw in a pair of pants and then some converses. “Oooo,” Alana picked up the shoes, “how many colors do you have of the same shore Jared? Where are, you getting them and how can I get a pair in purple,” she looked to him.

“I got connections and it’s gonna cost you a Lush bath bomb,” he smirked and began to pull out something for him to wear as Alana put on the jacket and then went over to a mirror and adjust herself. “You can change in the bathroom Evan, Alana,” Jared grabbed his stuff and then walked over to his closet, “When I come back, I need you to fill in my eyebrows, they looking a little thin today.”

“I mean, I wasn’t going to say anything,” she said with a smile as Evan laughed as he walked out. Jared had only huffed as he closed the door and Alana pulled out a make-up bag. Evan was in the Kleinman’s bathroom and was assaulted with the different smells of the family all mashed together. He was not in after the cleaning Coleen would do when she was nervous. Evan took off his shirt, his back to the mirror and took a big breath of his scent mixed with the blockers and just stood for a bit before he went to smelling like a closet. If there was one thing that Jared got from his family, it was doing something out of nerves, and it was tinkering with electronics. Jared had made something like a humidifier, but it got rid of scents that came from separate people, so he tested it on his clothes. It got better over the passing months and Jared just kept it in his closet to continue testing it without ruining his space that was his room. So, Evan was going to smell a bit of cleaning solution and then his scent and the blocker would seep onto the clothes. Good thing he wore boxer briefs since the pants were indeed, skinny. He refused to look down because he was not used to seeing his legs so defined and he was going to scare himself right out his pants, literally. The shirt was nice and long and that was nice, he didn’t like shirts that stopped right at the top of his pants. He pulled his cell phone and wallet out of his other khakis and put them in the pockets and then grabbed his clothes. He was a bit weirded out by feeling the fabric so tight against him, so walking was a little funny. He walked back into the room to see Alana filling in Jared’s eyes brows as he was texting Kent. He was in a black top that had a galaxy pattern on the short sleeves, a dark grey and white flannel tied around his waist, black skinny jeans, and galaxy print on his toms.  

“Bro…” Jared pulled the word long as he looked at him with a big smile. “You look amazing.” Evan blushed and Jared pointed him to the mirror on the closet door. “Check it out,” he encouraged and when Evan walked up to the mirror, he jumped when he heard Jared gasp and jump up, causing Alana to jump and smudge some make-up on his forehead.

“What?” Alana looked over at Evan and then back at Jared.

“Alana,” Jared to her hands in his and smiled brightly, “our little boy has like…the perfect ass.”

“Wh-What?” Evan turned away from them and covered his bottom. “What about my…my backside?”

“You have been hiding that butt from us in those shapeless khakis,” he pointed out as Alana picked up a wipe and pushed him back down to sit. Jared was still smiling as Alana cleaned his face and went back to work. “Are you telling me you never checked out your own butt in the mirror?”

“I don’t do stuff like that Jared, you know that.” Evan said, suddenly feeling like he was naked in front of him. “I am uncomfortable,” he said as he closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths.

“Evan,” Alana put down her brush and walked over to him with the Cardigan, “This is nice and long, so it will cover your backside if you are uncomfortable. Will that help you?” He nodded and put in on, closing it up and crossing his arms. “I think you look very handsome Evan, and Jared and I won’t mention your backside again, okay.” He nodded and she looked back at Jared with a pointed stare.

“Sorry Evan, I went in too fast for you. I also promise not to say another word about how you look if that will help.” He offered as Alana went back over to finish his eye brows.

“Can…Can I get one more compliment though…not about…that though?” He asked shyly, really embarrassed that he was still looking for some validation.

“The red brings out your eyes really well, a nice sky blue.” Jared offered and Evan smiled a bit before sitting down on the bed and putting on the shoes. “Am I beautiful yet Alana,” he asked as he went back to his phone.

“You were always beautiful Jared, I just filled in the eyebrows.” She smiled and stepped back with a nod. “I took a few beauty classes and worked at a hair salon place as a desk person, taking all the phone calls and appointment making, so I would ask all the make-up artist about their work and I was able to watch a few work and it was how I learned that and the cat eye.” She closed her eyes to show the sharp points and stunning shimmery shadow. “They were always so nice to the people that came in and never made anyone feel like the make-up was what made them beautiful.” She nodded and put all her stuff away. “Thank you for loaning me the jacket, so I can now hold my things in pockets and not my bag,” she smiled at Jared.

“Anytime babe,” Jared blew a kiss to her and sat next to Evan, “how are you feeling?”

“Nervous,” he said with a laugh, “but that’s nothing new.” He looked to them both, “Are we heading out soon?”

“We have to wait for Kent,” Jared said as he picked out two crowns and handed one to Evan. The one he held was big red roses and green leaves. Evan was holding a crown with small purple and white flowers. “Three omegas at a mall is helpful, but…I like to play it extra safe.” He nodded and put on his and then put on Evan’s for him. “You guys don’t mind, right?”

“Oh I would feel much more comfortable with Kent around,” Alana said as she leaned back against the dresser. “My heat is coming up soon, so I have a stronger blocker but I even having my dad drop me off, alpha would turn heads as we passed by.” She nodded and then pulled out her travel size blocker in a little spray bottle. “So, what do you think of the blocker?” She walked up and leaned forward. Jared leaned and gave a sniff by her neck.

“I already miss your honey smell,” Jared sighed. “You are literally the sweetest thing in the world and now, the world makes you smell like rich white women perfume.” He sighed and looked to Evan, “I hate wearing blockers, why can’t alphas just control themselves like the rest of us?”

“A perfect world,” Evan commented as he checked his own phone to see if his mother had tried to contact him. She hadn’t. He stood up and went back to the mirror to look at himself. He mostly starred at the shoes, which were the same red as the cardigan. “And thank you for the outfit,” Evan said looking back at Jared.

“If you like it, you can keep it,” He smiled at him, “Like, I need to donate a lot of the stuff I don’t wear and you can have first dibs.” He then got a text alert and Jared smiled brightly as his scent quickly began to overpower the blocker he had been wearing. Jared had to give the Alpha scent back once his usual blocker came through. He jumped up, took another look in the mirror and then took a deep breath. “Okay…show time.” Alana and Evan looked at one another, before following Jared downstairs, and they quickly noticed the change in attitude. Alana giggled, Jared had gone into Omega mode, he was trying to appeal more to Kent’s alpha nature. A real big instinct kick that a lot of Omegas would resent at times because a lot of alphas expected of omegas, but most omegas would only do it for alphas they were interested in. And alphas were quick to get pissy if they didn’t get the attention they wanted. Not all, but enough to make every Omega very wary of any.

“Little cubs,” Molly cooed as she walked over to the three omegas that came down the stairs. “Oh, you all look so precious.” She was all fluttering about the three, and Coleen stood at the window, staring down the alpha waiting outside his car, by the curb. “Are you sure you don’t want your mother there,” she looked to Jared.

“We’ll have Kent,” Jared assured her with a smile but the two were quickly cut off by the low growl that Coleen emitted. “Mother…you will not be escorting us. This is your first day off in a long time and you will enjoy it with ma.”

“You said I would be your only alpha,” she pouted as Jared blushed and rolled his eyes.

“Okay,” he grabbed Alana’s and Evan’s hands and began to pull them out. “We’ll be back before nine, I have my phone, love you, bye.” He said quickly, in a rush to get out of the house.

“Goodbye Kleinman mothers,” Alana waved with a big smile. “I have to come back and tell you about my work at the children hospital.”

“Have a nice day Aunt Molly, Aunt Coleen,” he said with a wave and was quickly pulled out as Jared shut the door behind them and let out a sigh. Evan could smell Jared at this point, he was excited to be with Kent, which must have been nice to connect with an alpha like that. He always knew Jared as the rebellious omega that would bow to no one, but just seeing him happy was heartwarming. Evan watched as Kent seemed to straighten up at the three of them, his eyes locked on Jared’s back. Kent was the what alpha wished they looked like. He was built and just by looking at him anyone could guess he was a football player. Alana was happy to not be the only black person in a group, and they two found a friendship in that. Kent was one of the nicest alphas Evan had ever openly interacted with. He was dressed in a white t-shirt, his letterman jacket, jeans, and those nice athletic shoes. He waved lightly at them.

“Hello Kent,” Alana waved and began to walk up to him, “I haven’t heard from you in a while, summer training keeping you busy?”

“Coach is preparing us for the next season and I got a lot of scouts coming to see me.” He smiled and was about to walk forward, but saw that Coleen was still watching and decided it best to stay back. Alana had heard all about Kent’s awkward dinner with the Kleinman family and had faced interrogation from the two and knew that the alpha was very protective of her space. He waited and smiled bigger when Jared turned around and walked with Evan up to the car. “Hello pup,” he said as Jared turned red and just walked right into his chest and melted against him. Evan blushed and looked away, feeling like he was interrupting a moment. “Okay, I will be your escort today.” He smiled at the three when Jared stepped back. “I will walk behind you guys, if you ever feel uncomfortable with me, please inform my sweet pup and he will tell me. If we encounter alphas that make you uncomfortable, you are welcomes to stand by me or against me, I will not put arms around you unless you move my arm for me.” He unlocked the car and they all filed in, Evan and Alana in the back with the other two up front. “Anything I should know or keep in mind?”

“I think we’re all good,” Jared looked back as Kent started the car and began to drive to the mall. “Do you guys have anything?”

“Kent knows us pretty well,” Alana said as she was already leaning against Evan.

“Hey Evan,” Kent looked into the rearview to see him. “You using a new blocker? Not that usual cologne smell anymore.”

“Oh…no I have been using…not as much as I usually do…and so some of my own comes through enough to be healthy, but still to keep me safe from triggering alphas. I-I should have worn more since we are going out but I just wasn’t thinking…”

“Nah Evan,” he smiled and laughed, “Your smell is nice. Nothing like the cutie next to me though.”

“You are embarrassing me with how sweet you are,” Jared smiled and fixed his glasses. He turned on the radio, which was Jared’s cue of he just wanted to listen and everyone was pretty okay with sitting with just the music going. Evan was staring out the window, his mind wondering to what it would be like that the mall. He tried to keep away the negative and reminded himself that he was with his friends and no matter what happened, he would be okay.

Well…he hoped anyway.

**(Line Break)**

Connor had arms filled with different bags that Zoe had happily allowed him to carry as they walked through the mall. She didn’t really talk to him, unless it was to let him know what store they were going to next and if she needed her wallet, which was in her purse that he also carried. He almost regretted coming but then told himself that this was all part of becoming a decent older brother. And decent older brothers would be the bag carriers and drivers for little sisters. His whole family looked at him like he was going to play a cruel joke on them all, but he did as he said, drove her and carried her bags.

“So,” she said as they walked through the mall, passing a pretzel place that caused Connor’s mouth to water. The one pros to his sudden detox from pot lead to the crazy great sense of smell. But then the con was since he was still so uncomfortable with smelling himself, he could smell the fragrant lotion that he read up on a health help blog for alphas. Connor looked over to his sister, in her usual rolled up jeans covered in stars and planets and a button up blouse that was covered in stars. “Did mom pay you to come out? Caught you smoking and said she wouldn’t tell if you pretended to be nice to me?”

Connor took a deep breath, smelling lotion and about eight different people. He couldn’t help but notice how he looked like hobo in comparison to her. His shoes were dirty, jeans with holes in the knees, a grey t-shirt that still had paint on it, and a black hoodie he wore no matter what the weather was like. “No. Did I butt in on your plans?” He asked, storing away that he had to learn what his sister meant when she used certain tones. Maybe she wanted a day to herself and he just waltzed right in thinking he was going to be a good big brother but selfishly used his sister’s downtime to make him feel good. He felt tension building in his shoulders at the thought of his sister only hating him more. What a failure, thinking he could just do what he wanted.

“Well,” she shrugged, “I love not having to carry my stuff,” she glanced at him and began to lead him into another shop that was filled with clearance clothes and shoes. “And you need to get out of the house more often. Can’t be a shut in forever.” She laughed as Connor chuckled a bit. “I’m glad that you actually got better at not getting caught; you smelled like shit.”

“Yeah,” he shrugged, “sorry I inflicted that on you for so long.” He was still hoping that she was starting to not hate him anymore.

“How high are you?” she scoffed. “First you want to hang out with me, and now you are apologizing?” Zoe was looking through dresses, “Not to mention there has not been a single fight and you even stay for dinner.”

“I thought you would be happy. Not having to put up with all my shit…” he said as he moved to sit down in a convenient chair close by.

Zoe stopped to look at him, and she really looked at him that Connor thought she could read his mind and know that he has been screaming at himself for the last few days. “I…I should be happy that you seem to finally be growing up.” She said and her stare turned into a frown and displeasure, “but no one makes a change like that so fast. Not without another reason.” She felt her heart clench up, like when she used to listen as her brother would be growling in anger and throwing anything and putting holes through the wall. It was terrifying to actual see her brother get angry, because it’s not a subtle anger. Alphas were strong and filled with passion. Her brother was a male alpha and could probably kill someone without how hard he could punch. She worried a fight would turn into a funeral. She worried about what would happen if he turned all that anger onto himself. But the clench she felt, it didn’t stop at her heart, it went all the way down to her gut because a lack of anger and distance looked good on paper, but she knew her brother. He didn’t bother to hide broken razors with missing blades. And the calm before the storm was well enough a warning. She nearly told him to fuck off when he offered to drive, but know that if she left, no one in the house would be watching him and Connor would be left with only himself.

“It just cost too much to keep up with,” he said lazily as he leaned back to crack his spine. “Why put up with the hassle if getting high got so boring.”

“So, what do you do know, crack?” she asked.

“I draw,” he said lightly, staring up at the ceiling.

Zoe looked at him as she grabbed two dresses, “Oh.” That was surprising. She remembered Connor would draw all the time, on the walls even. It didn’t matter where he was, but he would find a way to keep drawing. That all stopped though when their dad commented that Connor should focus on something that would help him in the future. Connor usually wouldn’t have listened to him, but Zoe remembered how their dad wouldn’t acknowledge any drawings that their mother would put up on the fridge. He even took them down and put them back in Connor’s room, telling him that he needed to put up important things on the fridge. The drawings stopped and the last she saw of one was about six years ago, half of one that had survived being thrown in the fireplace with the logs. “Good…” she nodded, “you’re good at that.”

“I am?” He looked at her with a raised brow. “I remember all that shit being just that…shit.”

“No you are really good at drawing,” she added. “I’m gonna try these on.”

Connor didn’t say anything, because he was sure his brain just crashed. There was no way that Zoe really thought that, she was humoring him, thinking she could keep him from annoying her by telling him to keep drawing. He nodded, that was way she said it, Zoe still hated him and was trying to get him away, so he should just stay away from her and just be a good brother from afar. What did good brother’s do from afar? He could make her breakfast but not force them to eat together. Rides to school was always a classic. Maybe he could just talk to the Alana girl for her. She was nice, but Connor liked not talking at times and this girl needed to be heard sometimes…he wasn’t a good enough listener yet. His mother was sure to remind him of that one. Just as he lulled his head to the side, there she was…along with three other people but Connor didn’t focus on that. It must have been fate, he had his chance to do something for his sister. Connor got up and walked out to them, feeling jittery. He was going to be his sister’s wingman. “Hey,” he called as they were walking by. The four turned back and he felt a sudden dread…he didn’t think this through. These people didn’t like him, why would they stop to say hello?

“Hello Connor,” Alana smiled as she walked up to him, the other three following but a little further back. “Nice to see you, it’s been way too long since our chemistry class together. I hope that I will be seeing you in Physics this year with Mrs. Bodin; she taught up at this youth center I would go to tutor at and she was so excited for our senior year and how we would be doing all of this amazing new experiments.”

“Yeah,” he said nervously, not really sure what to do with all that information. Not to mention that he was punched in the face with three omega blockers and one alpha that could kick the crap out of him. Was that alpha one of their partners…but who? He hoped it wasn’t Alana’s. He couldn’t be the comforting big brother yet, he hadn’t had time to look up how to do that yet. “What are you guys doing here?”

“What do you think we’re doing genius?” Jared scoffed at him as he crossed his arms over his chest. Connor took notice to the flower crowns and thought it rather…sweet? Or maybe that was the alpha in him telling him all omegas are cute like that. The pot kept that side quiet. “You trying out a new look?” He smirked as his eyes moved to the bags. “Gotta say, I love pushin the boundaries on gender norms.”

“Oh…yeah-no,” he added and looked back at the store, “I’m with my sister…she’s on a roll and I thought I would carry it all.”

“Oooo,” Jared waved his hands by his face, “big strong alpha over here.”

“Pup, like you got anything to say?” Kent…the football guy who ignored Connor when the rest of his team was being a dick…said as he held up his arms to show off his own bundle of bags. Jared flushed red and the two alphas got a kick of what was under the blocker. Connor quickly took a big step bag since he was sure they all heard him sniff. “That’s what I thought,” Kent said with a low voice and it didn’t help Jared all that much but Connor got the message real quick.

“Hey Connor,” Alana smiled, “you and Zoe should hang out with us,” she looked back at the group. “Won’t that be nice? We can even go grab some lunch…maybe a little sushi while we’re up here.”

“I’m down,” Kent said and eyed Connor one more time; it was no question who was the bigger alpha. He smiled, “how about you pup?”

“I wanna go in that store,” he pointed to the store Connor was just in. “Then we’ll see if I can manage to be in your company,” he shot a look to Connor before walking off. Alana only giggled and followed, quickly going into a story about how she took a bunch of sewing classes and began to point out stich patterns. Connor looked back at Kent, but suddenly took notice to the last member of the group. He should know the omega, the face was familiar but nothing else really was. He watched as Kent looked down at the omega, and took a step back. The Omega smiled nervously, sputtering an apology and looked to try and be curling up in hopes to disappear. He could smell distress something weird kicked in his gut. He was relaxed, stood tall and just emitted something that made the omega look at him.

That was a big mistake on Connor’s part. He was trapped in a trance…eyes could never be that blue. Eye brows bowed in with a sense of dread as a button nose began to grow red from blushing. A soft bottom lip being chewed on. It said ‘Pretty Omega’ on his shirt, but that shirt was fucking lying to his face. Connor had met and seen a lot of people, alphas, omegas, betas. His mother and father used to make it a habit to introduce him and his sisters to omegas at birthday parties like it was an old suitor party. Omegas being sold off to the highest bidding alpha. This omega though, one that he knew but never noticed in school, probably because all he could smell was pot and think about how much he wanted to die, was gorgeous- no beautiful, dazzling, radiant, amazing, and any other word he couldn’t think of. From all his readings about how alphas pick up on omegas and how attraction worked, he was not prepared for how it felt. His senses were peaked and past something that smelled like cheap cologne, came a soft smell that brushed against his nose. Something subtle and it lingered right around that you might just miss it.

This Omega smelled like a nature walk. Trees, and small flowers, and the rive that gently moved with the earth.

And then he was quickly brought back to earth when Kent clapped him on the back. Connor took in a deep breath, because he probably stopped while staring. “Yeah, he walked away,” he said with a laugh as he went into the shop. Connor turned and followed, going to Zoe, who looked like a deer in headlights as Alana was talking about a skirt she was holding up and pointing at the stitching. He was going to say something, but the second he caught the smell, he would see where the omega was. He stood with Jared, who was going through clothes and holding it up to himself, and then to the forest omega. Kent was comfortable in a chair by the doors, looking more like security than a boyfriend. Wait…he was a wing man. Big brother back…weird alpha thoughts later.

“Um, hey,” he gave a small smile as Alana looked up at him and Zoe snapped her neck to glare at him. “Zoe here has been teaching guitar lessons to some of the neighborhood kids.” That was a plus right? How did a big brother get his alpha sister the omega of her dreams?

“Oh how amazing Zoe,” Alana smiled at her. “That reminds of all my piano lessons that I give after school. I just love seeing all those kids learning to play and how happy they get when they got a scale right out played their favorite piece.”

“Yeah, it’s like, the coolest, right,” she laughed nervously, the anger melting away. He wondered if she was nervous or that was just an alpha thing, once smitten, an alpha is a big pile of goo to their partner of choice. “I could like…totally do it for the rest of my life…helping kids.”

“Yes, guitar is such a gentle instrument, I always wanted to play but my parents thought it too…liberal when I could learn a more conservative instrument,” she said as she picked out another skirt. “Not to mention that I have the harp and the cello as well.”

“I could give you lessons…” Zoe said, her stance stealing up and Connor felt like he should be taking notes. His sister was the better alpha. “Not for free though,” her tone said flirty and Connor suddenly felt weird. He’d never seen his sister in the moment and he regretted staying there for too long. “But…maybe din-”

“I could just exchange for piano lessons,” Alana said with a big smile and big doe eyes. “Oh we can tutor each other and then have joint lessons. That would be so much fun, thank you Zoe, I’ll be sure to inform Miss Lang on the change up for the coming up year. I could get kids signed up by the first day. I should tell the others in the band group, maybe we could all work out a piece to perform and have a small concert for the students.” She then walked off to the other two, going through the whole plan again.

“Wow…” Connor said.

“You did this on purpose” she glared at him. “You brought them in just to see me make a fool of myself. Real fuckin nice Connor. Was it funny?”

“No,” he quickly tried to apologies but her glare was way past regular mad. She was alpha mad. “I…I mean I know that you…you know…so I like, you know?” He felt small and the glare got deeper. “I thought- I thought I helped.”

“Are you…” her glare turned into confusion and anger. “Did you just try and talk me up to her? Did you try to wingman for me?” Connor nodded, still feeling like shit and wondering if the fall from the second story was enough to at least get him to the hospital. No…bad thoughts again. That’s wasn’t what Connor wanted, that was Depression Connor who thought that and tried to make Connor like the idea. Connor was going to live and show Depression Connor that his plans are not good plans. “Don’t ever do it again…but thanks…I think.” She said as the anger went away and Connor thought he may had just done something good-ish.

“Yeah…I won’t…you did good though-like maybe not great but good.”

“Like you could ever do any better,” she scoffed and looked at him just in time to see him throw a look to the blonde omega holding up a blue cardigan and pleading to Jared to let him get it. “No way.” She smirked as Connor suddenly tensed at looked at her with a hard stare and felt tension pull at every muscle in his body since he had been caught. She stood closer to him and whispered, “What did it feel like?” She asked lightly and smiled as a blush bloomed on his pale cheeks. “I was overwhelmed by a scent…they say,” she blushed lightly as the two looked over and watched the trio holding up clothes on one another, laughing and smiling. “alpha can always smell past blockers, but only realize it when they find someone that interest them. That’s the myth anyway…it’s not like I encountered Alana without a blocker…or any omega.” She shrugged as she nudged him. “So?”

“Time stopped,” he said back, “like I had never seen an omega before.”

“Yeah,” she nodded lightly and the two were stuck there, staring at the trio. That was until Kent blocked their view and sent a hard stare at the two. “What?”

“They do not want to be leered at by you two,” he said.

“We weren’t leering,” Connor replied but that was a terrible idea because Kent steeled up and Connor was not a good alpha. Alphas interested in omegas fought for them, but Connor backed away without hesitation.

“You got something to say next?” He asked Zoe next and she gave a glare but shook her head. Zoe was not someone to push, but Connor probably earned a lot of scorn from her and this was the first time him seeing her get mad at someone else. Kent nodded and then turned away and walked back over to the group, keeping much closer to Jared than before.

“Oh Zoe,” Alana came back over with a high waisted skirt that had a galaxy print. The skirt was puffy and ruffled, “isn’t this cutest thing in the world? I think it would look amazing on you since I do remember your big interest in space and your interest in galaxies when we both took a physics class and were learning about stars.” She was all bright and smiley, not noticing that Zoe was practically in a euphoric daze from being in the girl’s thoughts. “Jared,” she looked back, “I am almost done, how are you and Evan doing?”

Evan…Connor committed that to memory. But the blonde omega was not standing with them. Connor quickly searched the room, his heart pounding in his chest. Could he have lost the omega already. All the blogs told him that alphas natural instincts when finding a partner, they liked was to quickly become protective of them, but that they should not be ashamed of being over protective of not enough. Since a balance of hormones and environmental facts could affect that. But maybe the part of his brain that held instinct and no reasoning or logic had caused his gut to clench and the need to throw up at the idea of Evan being hurt, lost, or taken.

“Alana,” their heads looked over to see Evan walking out of the dressing rooms, smiling big like a kid on Christmas, dressed in a loose purple top and dark blue skinny jeans with a black hoodie on, “they make these pants in almost all the colors a-and,” he turned around and showed that back of the hoodie. “They have a design of the Abutilon pictum, better known as the Flowering Maple. They even the proper color of the flowers with their yellow-orange buds.” He pointed to the tree design. “It’s a common house plant in the Netherlands because of its delicate nature and being best raised in the shade…” trailed off and Connor was sure that he felt his heart skipped beats. His excitement was cute.

The group quickly finished shopping and just as Zoe was going to try and continue the hang out, Connor heard whispers. He was going to ignore them, but his heightened senses because of his situation were not helping. He could hear so many people, and he accidently made eye contact with someone. Everything drained from him at that moment. Were…were they all whispering about him? Did they know that he was an alpha, could they all smell him? Zoe didn’t say anything about his smell, but maybe that was because she didn’t care about him. She smelt the lotion and only said she was happy about the no pot smell…maybe she knew that he hated his smell and wanted him to be approached by someone to tell him that he was stinking up the whole mall…the omegas were shivering in their shoes because of him. He was ruining the mall for everyone and they would laugh at him as he was escorted out. He felt anger pooling into his gut. No wonder Zoe was so okay with him coming with, she wanted to watch him crash and burn. Connor was still as the group continued walking, only Zoe noticing that he had stopped following. She walked back to him, her stopping caused the other four to notice that the Murphy siblings.

“You okay?” She asked and when she touched his shoulder, Connor did something he had never done to her before, not since they were twelve.

Connor snapped at her, got low so they were eye to out and let out a thick growl, “Don’t fucking touch me.” His voice was low and gravelly, and Zoe took a step away. Connor quickly realized what he did and backed away a bit, seeing his sister’s eyes wide in shock. He thought to himself that he had fucked it up, he tried so hard and he ruined everything in five seconds. He felt guilt crash down on his shoulders when he looked over and saw that Jared had backed into his partner, grabbing Kent’s hand while trying to look unmoved. Alana had moved closer to Kent’s side and had her head down hands clasped in front of her. Then Evan…Connor almost didn’t see Evan hiding behind Kent. He wanted to throw up and scream…alpha instincts berating him for being like that to Evan, the other side of him telling him he should have died when he had the chance, before he had ruined everyone’s day just for being the piece of shit that he was. “I’ll be in the car,” without hesitation Connor turned and walked away, getting out as fast as he can before Depression Connor got any louder.

“Oh,” Zoe looked back at three, also reading that the three had grown frightened and because of that Kent had gone defensive. “Um…sorry…he’s…he isn’t himself today,” she smiled. “I gotta go check on him, m-maybe we can all hang out another time?” She asked hopefully but her smiled dropped when Kent looked at the three, and they had yet to say anything. Alana moving a bit closer, her natural scent coming in through the harsh blocker she wore and she clearly gave off fear.

“Yeah,” Kent answered for them. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, “I’ll give you my number and you can just text me and I’ll be sure they get it. Alright?”

“Yeah,” she said trying to hide the defeat in her voice. It was hard to get close to Alana in general, but her having a protective alpha nearby was even worse. But, it wasn’t like Zoe actively pursued her. She gave her number and then gave a goodbye to three unresponsive omegas. Zoe quickly followed her brother, going out to the car to see him sitting in the driver seat with all her stuff in the back. She took a deep breath. Everything sucks, but Connor seemed to be trying, so it was only fair that she tried too. She got in and they both sat in silence. Just as she opened her mouth to say something, Connor spoke first.

“Sorry…can we not talk about this…?” He asked lightly as he turned on the car.

“Okay,” she nodded and put her hands on her lap. “But I am here to talk about…later if you want.”

“Thanks.”

It was a quiet drive home.         


	3. School, Therapy, and a Walk

The first two week of school was about as good as anyone expected it to be. Kent had been so busy with practice and scouts that Jared usually found himself in the bleachers or anxiously waiting for a text. The one thing that he never shared with Evan or Alana was how nervous he was for school because of all the pretty omegas that may catch Kent’s eyes and take him away. Jared didn’t like to admit it he may have fallen in love with Kent, but he tried to tell himself that it was just the omega instinct to devote himself to an alpha that would protect him. He wanted to not be like that, to be okay with not finding an alpha and being so dependent on something that was supposedly ingrained into his dna. But he was just as bad as every lifetime movie he ever watched with his omega mother; he was whipped into a blissful submission. So, it was only obvious that he was sitting in the library, staring out the window at the football field as Evan was using one of the computers to write out one of his weird letters for his therapist. He looked down at his phone and went to his text, nothing new but he saw the old ones. His last text has been sent to the younger Murphy, who had been trying to set up another day for all of them to hang out, even going as far as to pay for the outing. He was ready to take up that offer just to take advantage of the rich Murphy family’s hospitality. Not to mention it wasn’t hard to see that Zoe was a little too excited at the chance to talk to Alana, trying hard to get him to add her to their little chat; but there was no way that Jared was going to give up one of his friend’s info for some desperately hopeless Alpha.

“Okay,” Evan smiled as he took the print out of his letter and put it away in a folder, “I’m all done.” He said with a smile that quickly dropped when he heard Jared sniff and Evan suddenly began to curl into himself when Jared looked at him.

“What happened Evan…did someone say anything,” he asked lightly as he sat up when Evan just looked away and pulled at the end of the blue cardigan he had fallen in love with.

“No…they didn’t have to,” he said as he looked out the window and began to close in on himself more. “I could practically feel their eyes on me and they were all scenting the air near me, and I know what you’re thinking and you’re wrong Jared,” Evan said with a hard stare and a point. “I know that it was happening and then the more I realized it was going on the tenser I became and that only made it stronger, it was lucky I even brought my blockers and put more on.” He nodded but didn’t gain any more confidence from the look on Jared’s face. “I chickened out.”

“It’s okay,” he stood up and looked out one more time before walking out with Evan once the bell rang for lunch, “you had a good run going and you will certainly be able to continue it once you are comfortable again.” He smiled at him and Evan only sighed and walked close to him through the halls. Jared looked around the hall and let out a scoff as he put his arm around Evan as they certainly noticed the alphas that would throw them looks. There was one real shitty think about high school and it was all the alphas that did not know boundaries or the words no. This was the first year that Jared actually had an alpha partner that he could look to but the bad thing was that no one other than the football team knew about it and it left a lot of alphas thinking that he was on the market. Not to mention that since he had affections for Kent, other alphas did not affect him as badly during the days of his upcoming heat or when they try to attract him with pheromones, but he did have to worry about Alana and Evan. The two were not bound to fall in love, but what a lot of alphas and betas don’t know (even some omegas don’t know) Omegas are easily compelled without having interest. Alphas took it as attraction when it was just biological genes that have not caught up with evolution yet.

“I don’t think I can go back,” Evan said as they stopped at Jared’s locker first to grab his lunch. “And I have go to Dr. Sherman today after school.” They began to walk to Evan’s locker, and the two saw that Alana was already waiting for them, but she was staring at her phone and they knew she was waiting on something that would decide her mood for the rest of the day. “Alana,” he smiled and waved as she looked up and smiled, but then quickly went back to her phone. “Uh…” he glanced to Jared, who only shrugged, and then opened his locker, “what are you waiting on?”

“I have been applying to a few colleges nearby and a few of my favorites that are out of state, meaning that I have to be on top of all of my grades and updating resumes so that I can be sure to get into the best college, scholarship application, and I would want early access into any good sororities or group clubs so I can make the most of my four years to prepare for the rest of my life as a biotech lab technician and a world class pianist.” She got out all in one go and was refreshing her phone. “I just sent out request for letters of recommendation but no one is getting back to me.”

“When did you send them Alana,” Jared asked as Evan pulled out a paper bag lunch.

“About two hours and twenty-seven minutes ago,” she stated.

“Alana,” Jared looked at her and put his hand on her shoulder. “You know that these things take time, all your past mentors and teachers will get back to you, but they need time and you have plenty of time to get those letters and send them out too.” He smiled as she looked at him with concern. “Hey, remember what Dr. Ellis said, when things don’t fit the schedule…”

Alana took a deep breath, “Nothing bad will happen. I planned everything to the point but it’s okay if something comes out of place, I continue with my day and I can easily move things around and talk to those I have already planned with to make sure everything is okay.” She nodded and smiled as Jared and Evan smiled at her. “Okay,” she pocketed her phone and held up her bagged lunch. “I have apple slices, cookies, granola mix, chips, and my tropical infused water.”

“I have a roast beast sub,” Jared began as they walked to the cafeteria, “home-made potato chips, and pomegranate juice.” He held up with cute looking bottle. “It makes your semen taste different.”

“Gross,” Evan cringed as Alana agreed as Jared laughed and opened the doors for them.

“Hey, Kent likes it,” he waggled his eye brows and Alana and Evan both laughed and cringed. “Okay, enough of that, I’ve reached the quota for the day.” They sat down at a table at close to the doors and were quick to pull out items to share with. Just as they were about to begin a conversation on when they would meet up for an anime binge, they all went still when Zoe was standing at the head of the table with a nervous smile. “Yes?” Jared asked.

“Can I…sit with you guys?” She asked

“I don’t see why not,” Alana smiled as she scooted over and Evan just stared at the table top and held his arms close to him as he picked at his chips. “This would be a perfect time to ask about what kind of piece we would all like to perform for a little spring concert.” She smiled brightly as Jared and Evan physically paled. Zoe sat down by Alana, sure enough to keep a bit of distance between them just to be sure that everyone at the table was comfortable. Alana didn’t even seem to notice, “I would think that we could keep it fairly small and have our groups perform a piece with us and then maybe one piece all together right at the end.”

“What instruments do you guys play?” Zoe asked as she began to eat a brightly colored salad with no dressing. Jared had never seen anything so hard core. She was looking between him and Evan and neither one really knew how to answer.

“Uh…” Jared began and suddenly felt weird, what instrument did he play? Wait…he was just a little nervous, he took a breath and then smiled and looked up at her. Easy talking to new people, just like his friends, but new. “I also play guitar and then a mini guitar.”

“Ukulele,” Evan and Alana both corrected and Jared only smiled bigger and whispered ‘real tiny guitar’ at Zoe. Alana then looked up at Evan, who looked about ready to slink away while he thought they weren’t looking. She lightly nudged his foot with her own and he looked up with a questioning look. She gave him that look she always did when she wanted him to talk and also assure him that no one was going to be negative about it. Evan cleared his throat, “I uh…I don’t play an instrument but I always wanted to like either something like a flute or something like a harp…not that you asked what I wanted to do but since it seemed relevant to it…but no instrument playing cause I don’t like a lot of loud noises, not that instruments are just loud noises- or that you needed to know that either….” He paused and felt a sudden scrutiny as Zoe lifted an eye brow in question and pursed her lips. He had to get to the point and not use so many words. “Singing,” he shot out quick that it surprised Zoe and he laughed nervously and wondered how fast he could run out of the room. “I…I sing.”

Zoe smiled, “no fucking way,” she said.

Evan felt dread, of course she didn’t believe him. Evan, sing, why didn’t he just say he only played manly alpha sports. Gosh was it stereotypical that the quiet omega boy was a singer, or that he liked pressed flowers and climbing trees. Was he a walking stereotype that all omegas hated because he gave off the message that all omegas were like him. He was a disgrace to his own kind- and stop. Evan looked back at his lunch. He was not a disgrace, Evan just happen to be a very soft omega and there was nothing wrong with that. Evan was totally allowed and valid to be the omega that he was. He laughed nervously, “Yeah….” His voice was a little high pitched, but that was okay too.

“That’s so cool,” Zoe said, “every time I sing, the neighbors call with concerns that there may be a dying cat on our property.” She laughed lightly and everyone kind joined in, not really Evan cause he was more amazed that he could do something an alpha couldn’t…or maybe she was just trying to be nice about it. “I think we could totally do something together.”

“What about Connor,” Alana asked with a smile and Jared frowned. Zoe’s smile dropped as Alana continued not to notice. Jared frowned and then shrugged while Evan was oddly intrigued at the inclusion of the alpha. “Does he play an instrument of sing?”

“Oh,” Zoe smiled lightly but it looked forced and the three could smell how uncomfortable she was with the other being brought up. “Connor is really only into art…”

“Like…painting?” Evan asked much to everyone’s surprise. He instantly felt their stares as he looked to the three. Was it weird to ask about someone that was so…not him? Sure, Connor was unapproachable since he had known him, which was since the second grade. Connor made big news in his grade for throwing a printer; Jared usually always steered Connor clear of him when they were younger. He laughed nervously in hopes to defuse anything that he had done, “I…I mean…since the day at the mall when all of us were there in the store looking for clothes and Connor was there too with you…Zoe. And I mean he wasn’t looking all mean like usual- that was mean…it’s like I know that no one should be judged on looks but I am just so naturally worried about stuff and the mall was already so overwhelming and I wanted to run-” he looked at them and blushed when they all looked to still be surprised. “So…I’ll shut up now….”

“No Evan,” Jared scolded lightly, “don’t be sorry for talking and asking a question.” He looked to Zoe with a pointed stare, “Does he paint or not?”

“I…I don’t know…he’s got a sketchbook and I think I once saw some canvases in his room…” she shrugged not wanting to think about how she hadn’t seen her brother’s room in years because he would go to the ends of the earth to keep her out of it. She remembered when she only saw his room about three years back because a doctor said that he shouldn’t be left alone in fear that there would be an…attempt. Alpha’s that are just coming into their hormones went through fits of emotions and with Connor already having bad anger issues, puberty did not help. Zoe went through crying fits and would openly walk outside to hit a tire with a bat. Connor was all about that quiet anger that would burst with screaming and hitting. He’s been oddly better, but it made Zoe real anxious.

“I bet he could help,” Alana smiled as she pulled out her planner that was already filled for the school year for all the stuff she did outside of school work. She pulled out a couple lose papers to show poster she had already thought up for the event. “Art has never really been a strong suit, but I would love to have a fresh eyes and new ideas. Can you ask him Zoe, I would love this to be an all student project?”

“I have some artist friends…” she said with a smile in hopes that she could get away from having to talk to her brother. “Just in case he objects. He can be kind of a dick, but I’ll ask anyway.”

“Thank you so much Zoe, we all practice on Wednesday and Friday starting next week after school, we recently had some new students try. We three are intermediate tutors so still have to divide up the students into each group and move other students along to advance tutors.” Alana was back at the planner.

“Cool…I-I can give you my number…so we can talk more about it….” Zoe offered as cool as she could while trying to hold back the blush.

“Just text Jared, I’m with him all the time and he already has your number,” Alana waved off lightly and stood up. “I have to go check in on something now that I am thinking about tutoring schedule, I have to get the room scheduled out soon.”

“You have to eat Alana,” Evan said as he watched the girl pack up. “You can’t skip breakfast and lunch…”

“Alana,” Jared said as she stopped and looked at him, “a few more bites and you will finish after school, okay?”

“Okay,” she smiled and quickly stuffed another few extra bites. Then she packed it away and quickly walked out of the cafeteria.

“She’s a go getter,” Zoe smiled as she looked back at her lunch and poked at the salad. “Wish I was like that.” She wished she was like that so she could get the hell out of her house faster. She wished Connor was like that so maybe she wouldn’t have to worry about him so much.

Speaking of Connor…

Connor was behind the bleachers, sitting about five feet away from his usual pot circle with the urge to scream in his chest. He wanted to smoke, he needed to stop smelling and hearing so well. The school was disgusting and there was nothing but over powerful Alpha scents and sickly blockers on omegas. Then there were the betas that were trying so hard to be a part of the crowd with their own synthetic scents that were all the rage among the populous beta culture and society. Like smelling like this was fun; it was the bane of Connor’s existence. He would gladly trade his genetics with a beta. It was nauseating, but the worst of all was Evan…Evan was nowhere in sight but in every one if his thoughts. He was going crazy, truly crazy. What was worse that it was because he could catch his scent briefly and it sent his mind into a frenzy.

“Ah Connor,” one of the girls looked back at him with a calm smile as she held out the joint. “You look like you are to rip that sketchbook apart.”

“I can’t.”

“Is this another fucking Alpha thing?”

“Kind of,” he shrugged and stood up, needing to get away before he was tempted to accept. “I was never here,” he said with a slight wave.

“You never are anymore,” the girl said again but from how quiet it was Connor assumed that he wasn’t supposed to hear it. His hearing was beginning to get to him and he would have to invest in some good head phone for sure. He looked to his phone and looked at the time. Lunch was almost up and he wanted to get into his next class before anyone else. Back into the building was back to being buried by smells. He went to his locker and grabbed more of the very fragrant lotion he had been using and quickly put on some his hands and necks to better block the smell from himself. He went to his math class which was hard to get through but worth to get to his art and free period which was just spent in the art room. Way in the back of class he sat down and quickly let his mind float away from the situation by staring out the window. Connor had a weird relationship with school, he hated being stuck there but he loved being away from home as well. Just as he was about to go back to his sketchbook, he caught the smell again. His head shot up and he looked out the door to see the dirty blonde haired boy at his locker. His back was to the room but Connor knew it was him. He was dressed so cute and he his air was a little ruffled.  

He was wearing the tree sweatshirt and by the smell, it was also dosed in a blocker to match. Well, it would smell like blocker if Connor wasn’t so weirdly hyper fixated on the boy that he could nearly smell past it. He knew he was staring, but no one else had caught on yet, which was good but all the worse once they did. He tried to avoid breathing to hard because he knew he would take the chance to take in a very deep breath and then they would hear. He was alone at his locker, putting them both more on edge. Connor felt his pencil moving on the page and looked back down to see that he was starting on the tree. Well…he already did his nature prompt, but another one wouldn’t hurt. It was also a better excuse to say he wanted to use the tree as a reference, nothing weird about that. It would be a quick glance and then back to focus on the drawing way longer than his glances would be. That was until he caught another scent.

“Hey Hansen,” some kid…Jake? He was leaning against the locker by Evan, and was smiling.

“H-Hello Jason,” Evan closed his locker and faced him, but with his shoulders hunched forward and clutching a biology book to his chest.

Jason…he was close. Connor watched as the dark haired boy only laughed and handed Evan a key. “Just be sure to lock up and get this back to. You hear that Hansen,” he winked as Evan laughed nervously, “don’t make me come looking for you.”

“Right, that would be rude…of me! It would be rude if I didn’t get this key back to you because you gave it to me and I just hung on for no reason and that would be…rude…” he said and the nervous laughter died down and he swallowed before looking back at the ground. “Right…yeah…”

“Don’t be so shy,” Jason leaned in close, “I don’t think I would mind seeing you again.” He placed his hand on Evan’s upper arm and gave a light squeeze. “See you around Hansen.”

“Y-Yep so you can get this key back,” Evan said loudly and then shrunk back and covered his mouth as Jason laughed and waved. Evan quickly walked off with his face flush and muttering to himself.

Connor had finally looked back down at the tree and to the pencil in his hand that had broken from his tight grip.

**(Line Break)**

“How have the blocker reduction going for you Evan,” Dr. Sherman asked as she was sitting back in her chair, her ever famous yellow notepad on her lap and pen in hand. Evan always thought therapy was supposed to be way different than in the movies, but there he was, lying on a long sofa with his hands on his stomach and his head looking up at the large map that Dr. Sherman had on her ceiling. She said that she put it up there to give people something to focus on in case they became overwhelmed. She had updated it to be a map of the United States and Evan always remembered odd city names and would follow roads with his eyes.

“Uh...great?”

“Are you asking me Evan?” He heard the pen scratch against paper and he was sure that she wrote down every time he lied or tried to lie.

“I…I mean…It was going great…” he began to tap out a song that his mother would sing to him as to help him sleep when he was little. He didn’t know the words and he never bothered to ask what they were. “Then I ruined it…like usual.”

“You don’t ruin things Evan. What really happened?”

Evan sighed, “I heard someone sniff when I walked into my Home Economics class. I chickened out.”

“Thank you for telling me Evan…is there any way I could try to make you comfortable again with continuing with less blockers?”

“Could you make me a beta…” he asked and turned his head to look at her. She had that unreadable look but it was a soft look, he knew that pity was hiding. “That was silly…sorry.”

“Evan,” she set her pen down, “I will admit that I will never know what it is like to be an Omega who also has high anxiety. My job was to help with the anxiety and you are doing an amazing job of keeping on track with your medication, and the letters.” She took off her glasses. “I think I may have reached the limits of my ability to help you,” she smiled lightly and that made Evan sit up and face her. He had been seeing Dr. Sherman since he was fourteen…was she leaving him? “I know that it’s hard to get to know someone knew, and we can still meet up maybe once a month now, just to keep on track on your medication and how you’re doing, but no amount of medication will help with how you feel about being an Omega.” She stood and walked over to her desk and went rifling through a card holder and pulled out a crisp grey business card and walked over to him. “I want you, or your mother, to give this woman a call. She’s a colleague of mine and she is an Omega that has studied in dealing with anxiety over one’s identification. She may be of better help to you than I could,” she held out the card and he carefully took it.

“Are…Did I do something wrong?” He looked up at her, already feeling the tears sting his eyes and his chest tightening.

“You did nothing wrong Evan, this is because of my inability to help you to the fullest,” she assured him softly but didn’t touch him, which Evan could appreciate. “I know it would be best. Margret up front can work with your mom about moving your insurance and assuring that you have enough refills until Dr. Whitt can issue you new ones that could help with both aspects of your anxiety. Okay?”

He nodded.

“We still have another twenty minutes…” she looked at her watch as she got back up and went over to her seat, “is there anything else that you wanted to tell me, or are worried about?”

“Uh…Jared, Alana, and I are going to be doing a music event for some of our students.” He said as she flipped the card in between his fingers, taking in the feel of high quality paper. “With Zoe Murphy, a girl from school that plays guitar, like Jared.”

“That should be fun, how do you feel about it?”

“I think Avery will like it…she keeps telling me about how she wanted more places to show off,” he said with a laugh. “A-And Brendon is going to be over the moon at the idea of singing with a live band instead of just a piano or audio cd. Then Allison and Emily are going to be begging for solos and I am going to have to have Alana help me choose because I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.”

“You know those kids very well Evan, it’s good to see you opening up and even teaching.” The pen began to scratch paper. “But are you excited to be a part of it?”

“Alana is…I mean, I wouldn’t want to do anything to make her think that I don’t want to do it because she already started planning and doing all this work that if I backed out, not that I will because she is working really hard, I would be the one to ruin everything for her and this is her senior year and I don’t want to mess up her senior year. Even Jared is on board and Zoe looked so happy to be doing it and I don’t want to be that guy…” he slowly stopped and looked to Dr. Sherman. She had that same look that meant she wasn’t going to say anything and Evan would have to. He lied on the sofa and let out a breath. “I’m scared.”

“Why are you scared,” she asked.

“What if we do this, and I mess up conducting, or the kids get scared and I can’t help them?”

“You have two other good friends there to help, and rehearsal always help with checking how everything goes before the actual show.” She assured him.

“I know…but what if everything goes wrong because I’m a bad teacher? Their families will be there and they’ll all think that Omegas can’t teach. I’m a walking stereotype.”

“And what has your friends assured you of Evan, when it comes to your actions.”

“They don’t make me an Omega…it makes me Evan who also happens to be Omega.” He repeated with a light smile. He loved his friends. He looked back to Dr. Sherman, “You think it will go well?”

“I think that if you put your mind to it, and give it your all,” she smiled at him, “you will put on a great performance and give your students a great chance to open up, like singing gave to you.” He smiled back and went back to starring at the drawing. “Have you thought about considering a singing career?” She asked and was quick to take notes without him having to even look in her direction. Evan hadn’t thought about what he was going to do after high school…he never really thought he would have made it this far. His future was seemed like such a fairytale, but it was right there waiting for him. Dr. Sherman watched as he processed the thought, “did you think about continuing schooling and going to college?”

“I…I had applied for a community college nearby…so I can live at home and maybe keep working at the forest preserve…just so I can figure out a real plan.”

“That’s a good plan Evan,” she said as she took quick notes. “How about studying in botany? Maybe trying to intern in a green house or labs?” She watched as he looked to become frightened at all the thoughts swirling in his head. “This is a good plan though,” she assured him again with more note taking. “It’s a good idea to get general education done first. And community colleges are so much cheaper and they grade easier than four year universities.” Evan was back up sitting and looking down at his feet. “What do you think?”

“I don’t know what I want to do but I should by now…” he answered. “I think I’m doing a bad job.”

“It’s never too late to figure out what you want to do, take your mother for example,” she offered up. “She’s decided to go back to school after she had decided that her future decision of being a nurse.”

“Yeah.”

“I think you have all the time you need to make a decision about your future, and then enough time to change it too,” she took a few more notes and then put her pad and paper down. “Have you talked to your friends about these fears?”

“No…they’re busy with their own things.” He shrugged and smiled, “But that’s okay…I need to be able to do stuff without having to run it by someone every time.” He looked up at her and kept the smile up. Thinking about his friends always made Evan so happy since he was sure that he had the greatest friends in the world and was so blessed to have them. It would be hard to be away from them but he knew that there was no way that they were going to be together forever kind of thing. Alana was probably going off to help people all over the world, or become a world leader with her amazing planning. Then there was Jared, who was going to become a game developer or do something like create the next best thing…maybe even go forward with that robot idea he was always contemplating. Evan wanted to be there for them like they were for him; so, it would be best not to burden them with his troubles all the time. “I think…I can do this.”

“That’s good to hear Evan, and if you want to, you can always talk about it with your mother and myself,” she nodded with another few notes. Evan was always curious about what she was always writing about. Maybe she had it all figure out. He looked down at the card of the other woman that he was being recommended to see…maybe he would try to make the call this time. Before she could begin to say something else, the little alarm went off on her desk. Dr. Sherman stood up to go turn it off. “Well, that seems to be our time Evan, anything else that you wanted to say before heading home?” He shook his head, eager to leave and get on to his walk.

It was the best part of therapy, Evan could walk home and stop by and grab something sweet as a reward for another meeting well done. He was especially happy because this was going to be the tenth punch on his card and it meant next time, he was going to get a free drink. He said goodbye to Margret before speed walking out and to the nearest convenience store with a light smile. He shot a quick text to his mother and another to Jared asking if he wanted anything which usually a request for a large drink. Jared would word it as a drink that he could have and hate himself for getting. It was a big drink. He walked into the shop and went straight for the icee machine in the back that was also next to the drink machine. He got a text from Jared that he wanted his usual another drink for Alana, who was already at Jared’s house. He grabbed a drink tray for the two sodas and then eyed the flavors for the frozen drink. Evan was always bad at choosing, but once he found something, it was hard for him to ever not choose it again. He wanted to go straight for the pina colada, but the bright red always caught his eye. Deep breath. Hard nod. He went with the cherry blast.

The woman at the counter always looked at him funny, Evan was afraid that he was going to be recognized about being the weirdo that came in to get drinks and then walk away…like a weirdo. His heart quickened as she looked him over, Evan thought it was weirder that he basically knew Alma and tried to work up the nerve to say hello, but again…didn’t want to creep her out. The other thing was that he only remembered her cause she wore a strong beta perfume that was meant to mimic omega scents, but only another beta would be fooled by it. That would be a weird way to start a conversation. She pulled him out of his worries when she gave him the total and just before he was going to hand her the cash, another body leaned against the counter and had a twenty in hand.

“Hey,” he looked over and gulped when he got a hard scent of an alpha. They were not as tall as Evan, but they had the confidence that they were ten feet tall. “Mind if I buy that for ya sweet heart?”

“Uh…” he was uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable. Not to mention scary. He looked to Alma, who was eying the woman like she eyed him. “You don’t have to…”

“Why won’t you let me treat a pretty think like you,” they raised a perfect eyebrow and smirked. “Little boy needs a mama, right?” Evan began to laugh nervously and, the alpha took it as a good sign. She got a little closer and Evan took a step back. “Aw, you shy pretty boy? That is adorable.” She didn’t come up into his space again but it felt like she was getting closer. “How about I buy your drinks, and I’ll drive you to where you need to go, saw you walk in here alone, and it would be rude of me to let you leave alone.” Evan felt pale, they watched him walk in and knew he was alone and had no car…and nobody else with him. That should be a red flag that he wished he could wave and blew the whistle on this alpha. “Now don’t make me beg sweet heart, but I just have to take care of you.”

“Eh…no…no thanks,” he whispered but they looked at Alma and held out the twenty. “N-No…please d-don’t-”

Evan was so terrified of what was going on, that he nearly jumped when Connor Fucking Murphy came between him and the alpha, “I think what he was trying to tell you was to kindly fuck off.” He said lightly moving her hand away from Alma and place down his own drink. “Ring me up with him.” Connor said, “If…if that’s okay…?” He looked to Evan, who nodded quickly not sure if his voice would work. Alma gave him ‘the look’ and then wrung him up and told him the new total.

“And who are you,” the alpha said with a smile that didn’t look like she meant it. Connor just ignored her and got his change. “Hey, I’m talking to you, asshole.”

“You can follow me out if you want,” he said to Evan while pocketing the change and grabbing his drink. He began to walk out and Evan grabbed his stuff and sped to catch up with him before he got too far away. He didn’t look back to see if the other alpha was following. “Where you headed?”

“Back home,” Evan felt so tiny and paper thin. He had never faced anything like that. It was one of the big reasons why he never wanted to do things alone. The one time he found something, his special little drinks after therapy, were know tainted and just another thing to stack on top of the nightmare material. “Thank you,” he said lightly.

“Don’t worry about it,” Connor said as they walked side by side on the sidewalk. “You should probably let me know now if I’m going the right way or not,” he looked to him and Evan flushed and took about two steps faster to get ahead of him, seeming to take the lead. Connor wanted to walk next to him, but could still get a strong scent that Evan was scared and still a little panicked. After that day at the mall, and not until everyone was asleep, Connor began a mad search and study of what happens to alpha’s when they find an omega and how exactly did one go about courting an omega. He got a lot of dating sites and apps but then he found archives of books and articles written about the courting instinct humans had and how they either are developing or keeping humanity from ever reaching a state of equality. He had a folder filled with printed out material about the dos and don’ts of courting today, with also other things that expect from himself and the omega he wanted to court. The only problem with it was that it didn’t take into account if either party had any mental illnesses or anxiety. So, he was at a loss on how to go about his feelings towards the Omega, thinking maybe that anything he felt was just because it was the first omega scent he ever actually smelled.

They walked in silence, with Evan glancing back at him occasionally, and then taking a drink from the bright red frozen treat. Connor tried to act as casual as possible, but when he could smell the cherry. Not to mention that he would catch a glimpse of tinted red lips. His usual stuff to cover up his scent was being stretched a little thin until his mother went to do some shopping to get him more; it was a conversation him and his mother had and seemed a little weird to both. Connor never really asked for much, but asking his mother to pick up very potent shampoos and lotions was an event. Connor was sure that his mother told his father because now his father would stop to look him over, like he could smell everything on him too.

Zoe was being weirdly supportive and nice to him, but it was probably because she had been trying to get him in on this weird project around some student tutor music thing. Connor wasn’t musically gifted like Zoe, but she said that he could do the art for it, maybe make it a project between other younger students like they did. He knew that she was only doing this because Alana was the lead on the event and Zoe was trying to be impressive. It was part of his ‘best big brother’ check list to help her, but the idea of being in charge of kids and have Evan Hansen there to see it crash and burn around him.

Hell no.

Connor stopped when Evan came up to a house and began to walk to the front door, he watched as Evan stopped and looked back at him. Evan looked back at the door and then walked up to Connor, putting his drink into the carrier with the other two. “You…You wanna come in?” He asked as she stood about five feet away. Connor raised a brow, feeling his heart skip a beat at the idea that Evan Hansen wanted to invite him in…were his parents’ home? Did he want him to meet them? Was…Was he bring courted- Nope. Connor took a step back from those thoughts, be direct and forward, no guessing room or assuming. “I-It would b-be rude for me to just leave you out here while I go to hang out with Jared and Alana…so you can come in and hang out…maybe I can make you something to eat for helping.”

“I offered to help, you don’t have to do anything.”

“Can…Can I though,” he asked with a smile as Connor was sure he was blushing. “I get that you probably don’t want to come in and hang out with us, I…I mean you’re you and I’m…yeah maybe I’ll just give you something at school…or not because I don’t want you to be uncomfortable because of me.” He was looking down at his shoes and making a habit to lick his lips, which lead to a sharp smell of cherry and Evan and Connor wondered if he tasted like cherries too. But that would be gross, to up and kiss him because he wanted to. Ask him. The thought was running through his head over and over. ASK HIM IF YOU CAN! Evan looked up at him, “Y-Yeah I-I’ll find you tomorrow about it…thanks for doing that and walking me back. Th-That was cool and all. M-Maybe I’ll give it to Zoe to give to you so I don’t bother you anymore-”

“I’m locker 280, on the second floor,” he cut in. “I’ll be waiting there for…whatever…” Connor quickly turned away and started walking back to his house, his head screaming that he just go back and ask, because if he didn’t he would be thinking about it all night like a creep.

Evan watched from at the end of the driveway as Connor walked away. “Bye,” he mumbled before looking back to see that Jared and Alana were watching from the window with giant smiled on their faces as Evan raised a brow. Maybe they were excited for their drinks?  


End file.
